"The first step is you have to say that you can. "

"The game of politics is to make you afraid so that you don't think. "

"Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. "

"If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. "

"I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. "

"Patriotism consists not in waving the flag, but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong. "

"I don't have time to distinguish between the unfortunate and the incompetent. "

"There's nothing more uncertain than the life of a man like me. You're so young and so beautiful, and you will be for a long time to come. Remember, no matter what happens, I want you to promise you'll keep your chin up. "

"Rolling / Keep your head up, look to the sky / Rolling / Don't you ever ask yourself why / Rolling / We'll live forever, you and I / Keep on rolling "

"Real patriotism is a willingness to challenge the government when it's wrong. "

"Men acquire a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way. "

"if Barbie is so popular then why do we buy her friends and boyfriends? "

"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, and have a party. "

"A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable. "

"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. – Flip Wilson "

"Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye. "

"For the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. "

"Toxic people ruin family gatherings. They assault friendships. They can run businesses into the ground. "

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. "

"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. "

"It's the soldier not the campus organizer who allows you to demonstrate. "

"Those who throw dirt only lose ground. "

"On a scale from 1 to 10, you're an 11. "

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. "

"There are no particular acts that are necessary for patriotism. "

"There is no gambling like politics. "

"I think my mind blown, I barely feel my feet. I'mma hold my head high even in defeat. "

"I don't care. "

"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. "

"Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. "