"I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake. "
"Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. "
"Expect while reaching for the stars, people to whirl by with their dark clouds and storm upon you. "
"Integrity has no need of rules. "
"Change the game, don’t let the game change you. "
"A liar is always lavish of oaths. "
"Toxic men can distress women who are rich, poor, beautiful, plain, fat, thin, tall or short. They can make miserable women from any religion, race or culture anywhere in the world. "
"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. "
"Politics are like a labyrinth, from the inner intricacies of which it is even more difficult to find the way of escape than it was to find the way into them. "
"I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella. – Gary Delaney "
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. "
"Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. "
"Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. "
"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. "
"True patriotism sometimes requires of men to act exactly contrary, at one period, to that which it does at another, and the motive which impels them the desire to do right is precisely the same. "
"It takes someone strong to leave with their head held high. It takes someone stronger to stay with their head held higher. "
"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? "
"The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa. "
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. —George W. Bush "
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you can never see the shadow "
"Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves. "
"When you say you will do something, I trust you. "
"A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril. "
"Success does not consist in never making mistakes, but in never making the same one a second time. "
"When you are pursuing your dreams, they will call you CRAZY because they are LAZY. They never know you are a HERO who just jumped away from step ZERO. Stay away from negative people; they will only pollute you. "
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. "
"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax. Tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. "
"My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. "
"I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. He’s dreaming too. "
"If you were a scented candle they'd call it Perfectly Imperfect (and it would smell like summer). "