"You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because I just farted! "
"I'm lying to make you feel better. See? Sometimes lying is awesome. "
"How is it that you always look great, even in sweatpants? "
"There’s no 'I' in team, but there is in 'win.' "
"Political correctness represents the fossilized institutionalization of once-vital revolutionary ideas, which have become mere rote formulas. It is repressively Stalinist, dependent on a labyrinthine, parasitic bureaucracy to enforce its empty dictates. "
"In other news, the sky is blue. "
"When you walk through a storm keep your chin up high and don't be afraid of the dark. "
"I'd let you into the secret in me. / Just because I'm good at fooling you, / When no ones around I'll walk in your shoes. / I'm smiling while lying to you "
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. —Mark Twain "
"On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. "
"The healthy people who desire to take responsibility for their lives are said to drive themselves crazy while toxic people drive everyone else crazy. "
"I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. "
"There is no better test of a man's integrity than his behavior when he is wrong. "
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. "
"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering "
"First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. – Steve Martin "
"I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. "
"When nothing is going right, go left. "
"Integrity is not a laughing matter but a serious issue, If a man cannot account for how a dollar committed to his hands was spent, don't expect he will be able to account for a million dollar. "
"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. "
"There is no better test of a man's integrity than his behavior when he is wrong. "
"Never "for the sake of peace and quiet" deny your own experience or convictions. "
"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. "
"Your integrity, your dignity, your honor - they aren't for sale. Not ever. Not to anyone. "
"Undeniable integrity is the absolute supreme quality. Without it, no genuine accomplishment is attainable. "
"As the world falls, I will keep my head up high because I know at the end of the time, I fall with my heart sorrowing into the sky. "
"I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? "
"Those who criticize our generation seem to forget who raised it! "
"I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. There’s no stopping me now. "
"Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double. "