"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. "
"Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. "
"Lying for me / Got no use for your excuses / Take 'em with you when you go / Through my effort baby you ain't never lied to me before "
"Avoid negative people, for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you! "
"Babies and small animals probably love you. "
"Power is actualized only when word and deed have not parted company. "
"Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn’t seen my big screen TV. "
"My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. "
"The closer to the truth, the better the lie, and the truth itself, when it can be used, is the best lie. "
"Political correctness is a war on noticing. "
"To all you virgins, thanks for nothing. "
"Believe you can and you're halfway there. "
"It is easier to avoid the effects of others' negativity when we question if an action or attitude is appropriately directed at us. If it isn't, we can choose to sidestep it and let it pass. "
"If only common sense were more common. "
"Chin up, Max. It's better to be sad than dead. "
"The person of superior integrity does not insist upon his integrity. For this reason, he has integrity. The person of inferior integrity never loses sight of his integrity. For this reason, he lacks integrity. "
"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open. "
"The closer to the truth, the better the lie, and the truth itself, when it can be used, is the best lie. "
"Stand Tall, Stand Proud. Know that you are unique and magnificent. You do not need the approval of others. "
"Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it. "
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. "
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein "
"Patriotism is a menace to liberty. "
"With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. "
"Resolve today that the toxic people won't take you down or even distract you. "
"But, chin up. There's a medal in it for sure. Nothing like a scrap of ribbon to cheer up a widow "
"Don't regret the past, just learn from it. "
"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success. "
"The evening news is where they start by saying “good evening,” and proceed by telling you why it’s not. "
"Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. "