"Political correctness is tyranny with manners. "
"Though I love my country, I do not love my countrymen. "
"Why is England the wettest country? Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. "
"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. "
"Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. "
"My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. "
"Nope. Didn't happen. "
"A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. – Milton Berle "
"Politics without compromise is like a car without a gearbox; it can look quite elegant but you won't get anything out of it. "
"And I know this world is so cold and deceiving but I keep my head up like my nose is bleeding. "
"I bet you sweat glitter. "
"You value yourself, spiritually, mentally, and physically. You are a unique individual with so many talents and gifts. You look in the mirror and exclaim, 'I am worthy!' "
"How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree . . . and then realize it was your air-freshener. "
"You're really something special. "
"I think I want a hot dog for dinner. Thoughts? "
"When you're going through your rough time / Maybe I could be your lifeline / Keep your head up, when you're down "
"People who try to bring you down everyday aren't important in your life, so you better treat their opinions as such. "
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. "
"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible.’ "
"So keep your chin up and look up high. You'll find your troubles will pass you by. "
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz "
"Your integrity, your dignity, your honor - they aren't for sale. Not ever. Not to anyone. "
"Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. "
"A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril. "
"The first step is you have to say that you can. "
"When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work. "
"How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree . . . and then realize it was your air-freshener. "
"To keep one's own integrity, be merciful and uncorrupted and not wish for evil; and not be duped. "
"You're more fun than a ball pit filled with candy. (And seriously, what could be more fun than that?) "
"Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. "