"Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. "
"My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. "
"In politics, guts is all. "
"When you say, "I meant to do that," I totally believe you. "
"The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. "
"Political correctness is euphemism for fear to speak truth to authority. "
"My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. "
"People say you can’t live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. "
"Leave it to the libtards to take away and those of sound mind to give it back. "
"You light up the room. "
"Don't make me come over there and do your job "
"If the union is once severed, the line of separation will grow wider and wider, and the controversies which are now debated and settled in the halls of legislation will then be tried in field of battle and determined by the sword. "
"Somehow you make time stop and fly at the same time. "
"Liars are always most disposed to swear "
"When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property. "
"Your lying blue eyes used to charm me / And hypnotize me through and through / Like a fool Lord I've been dreaming / Your lying blue eyes just told on you "
"When I'm down you always say something encouraging to help me feel better. "
"I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? "
"I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen. "
"The person of superior integrity does not insist upon his integrity. For this reason, he has integrity. The person of inferior integrity never loses sight of his integrity. For this reason, he lacks integrity. "
"Politics are almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. "
"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. "
"Ham and eggs—a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig. "
"Keep your head up. It has to get worse before it gets better. "
"People who try to bring you down everyday aren't important in your life, so you better treat their opinions as such. "
"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer. "
"If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. "
"Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it. "
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. "