"In the real world, I have to wake up, go to my stupid job, and barely get by. Good thing all these celebs and politicians and journalists get to make money by pumping out this filfth. "
"No man lies so boldly as the man who is indignant. "
"Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important. "
"I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried, but they wanted cash. "
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. "
"Politics is a pendulum whose swings between anarchy and tyranny are fueled by perpetually rejuvenated illusions. "
"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible.’ "
"When a toxic person is attacking you, you don't have to participate. "
"Integrity is not something that you should have to think about...nor consider doing...but something in the heart that is already done. "
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. "
"You may dance like no one's watching, but everyone's watching because you're an amazing dancer! "
"You couldn't get a clue during the clue-mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance. "
"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not. "
"The ballot is stronger than the bullet. "
"You are making a difference. "
"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. "
"The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run. "
"Toxic people ruin family gatherings. They assault friendships. They can run businesses into the ground. "
"Begin at the beginning, and go on till you come to the end: then stop. "
"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up. "
"Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck. "
"When you're not afraid to be yourself is when you're most incredible. "
"Your integrity, your dignity, your honor - they aren't for sale. Not ever. Not to anyone. "
"I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. "
"When the sword is once drawn, the passions of men observe no bounds of moderation. "
"Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit; and the choice is yours. "
"But, chin up. There's a medal in it for sure. Nothing like a scrap of ribbon to cheer up a widow "
"What is light is to the eyes, what air is to be lungs, what love is to the heart, liberty is to be the soul of man. "
"There is no gambling like politics. "
"A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. "