"I think I want a hot dog for dinner. Thoughts? "
"I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. – Chris Rock "
"Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. "
"Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. "
"Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses. "
"Never make negative comments or spread rumors about anyone. It depreciates their reputation and yours "
"That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. "
"Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then get elected and prove it. "
"God bless you all!"
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. "
"A lie that is half a truth is ever the hardest to fight. "
"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always. "
"My dream job would be the Karma delivery service. – Bill Murray "
"Character is holding to our integrity when everyone around us is holding on to everything except their integrity and pressing us to do the same. "
"Arise, awake and stop not till the goal is reached. "
"It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. "
"Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. "
"Why? Because i said so "
"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. "
"Every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. "
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. "
"No matter how much it hurts, you have to hold your head up and keep going. "
"Men are like parking stalls. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped! "
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "Y" becomes silent. "
"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. "
"You are enough. "
"Don't wait. The time will never be just right. "
"Alright alright alright. "
"You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. "
"You make my insides jump around in the best way. "