"You couldn't get a clue during the clue-mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance. "
"I believe in America because we have great dreams and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true. "
"If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them. "
"You are already of consequence in the world if you are known as a man of strict integrity. "
"You're like a breath of fresh air. "
"Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. "
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. "
"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right. "
"The evening news is where they start by saying “good evening,” and proceed by telling you why it’s not. "
"Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. "
"Why? Because i said so "
"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely. "
"Why is this news? "
"Keep your head up, because there's always tomorrow / Put the Lord first, be strong, you can't go wrong / Love is on the way if you just pray, and hold on "
"I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like. – Bill Murray "
"Where's the truth, where's the truth, why you lying / Truth abuse, what's the use, it's not a game you're playing "
"If lying is first of all a matter of breaching the trust of a relationship, it follows that the severity of the lie depends on the nature of the relationship and the understanding that forms that trust. "
"People who fight fire with fire end up with only the ashes of their own integrity. "
"If you were a scented candle they'd call it Perfectly Imperfect (and it would smell like summer). "
"Change the world by being yourself. "
"I don’t know how to act my age because I’ve never been this old before. "
"If I’m going to have hope, I’m going to have to learn to endure disappointment. "
"Toxic people operate more like a funnel than a waterproof bucket. "
"When you say you will do something, I trust you. "
"You're even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside. "
"Love does not dominate; it cultivates. "
"Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail. "
"I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. "
"In politics, an absurdity is not a handicap. "
"It is easier to avoid the effects of others' negativity when we question if an action or attitude is appropriately directed at us. If it isn't, we can choose to sidestep it and let it pass. "